She wants to be the laughter in your silence

Monday, October 10, 2005

your own disaster

okay, i just read diane mejilla's blog (diane, i miss you mucho!)...

OKAY. maybe that's kinda what i need too. "dyan, i don't like you."

maybe then i'd finally wake up to the reality that it is never going to happen. ever. that way i can focus my attention on other things...other things, and other people actually worth working on.

jess told me too, finally. she told me to let it go. wala naman daw mararating eh. either way daw wala talaga.

she's kind of right. actually she's completely right. but that doesn't make it any less painful or disappointing.

but i guess it's all my fault. it's not his fault he doesn't like me back. it's not his fault i feel that way. it's not like he ever did anything to me to make me feel this way. it's not his fault i chose his footsteps, his path, out of all the others. none of it is his fault. none of it is anyone's fault.

it really is all my fault...we make our own pain.

i need new interests. seriously.

i love you janyn. i really do. and i'm sorry.

we'll get through this. *we're all so much better than they think.*

Catches her Breath x 8:33 PM